Editor’s Note: This article is part of our “L&D Reflections” series, where learning leaders share what they’ve learned over the past year and how those insights are shaping their work.
I’ve learned many things this year, but one lesson stands out: Emotional regulation is vital, not only for ourselves but also the people and organizations we support.
Dr. Brené Brown recently stated at the Fortune Summit, “People are not okay. People are emotionally dysregulated, distrustful, and disconnected. You’re leading a workforce that is increasingly struggling.”
I’m seeing this firsthand with executives and talent professionals who are concerned about high levels of change fatigue and burnout among their people. It’s negatively impacting everything from productivity and employee retention to health care costs and the ability to embrace change.
We are living in a time of massive uncertainty, rapid change and growing societal tension. And it’s calling on all of us to become highly skilled at emotional regulation, a cornerstone of emotional intelligence (or EQ).
There’s an urgency to upskill people on EQ and particularly self-regulation. I’ve worked with various organizations including police forces needing to de-escalate far more situations than years past, to fast-growing artificial intelligence (AI) companies whose teams are burning out quickly. As well as national energy companies whose field workers encounter more distrustful and aggressive homeowners, to hospitals whose staff are struggling with increased verbal abuse and violence from patients and their families.
By teaching people how to regulate their emotions, we prepare them to succeed in all kinds of situations.
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the set of skills needed to accurately gather emotional data and effectively use it to solve emotional challenges and build effective relationships with others.
Studies show that EQ is twice as predictive of performance than traditional IQ and accounts for 80-90% of competencies that differentiate top performers. And the Center for Creative Leadership found that 75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including “inability to handle interpersonal problems; unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.”
Drs. Marc Brackett and Robin Stern from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence state that while EQ is highly valued in workplaces, people “…Too often shy away from the hard work required to cultivate it. Understanding what EQ really looks like and the steps needed to improve it could light a path to a more emotionally adept world.”
Like any skill, emotional intelligence can be learned and improved with practice. The journey starts with self-awareness and the mastery of emotional regulation.
Emotional Regulation
Emotions are data our bodies are designed to feel and read in others. Emotions influence our thoughts and actions with each having a unique biological signature. For example, surprise widens our eyes to increase our perception allowing us to process unexpected events. While happiness and love evoke a para-sympathetic response, fostering calmness and cooperation. And anger triggers increased blood flow to the hands, preparing us for confrontation.
Dr. Dan Siegel identified that humans have what he termed a “window of tolerance.” When we are in this window, we feel relaxed and in control, able to function effectively in our professional and personal lives. We have a calm state of mind and our biological systems are regulated.
As we go through our day, we move up and down within this window, having moments of activation and recovery. For example, as we get ready for action, our heart rate elevates, we’re alert and able to think clearly, make decisions, and respond effectively. And after that event, we engage in calm deactivation, settling back down as our muscles loosen, our heart slows and we feel relaxed.
But sometimes, a particularly challenging event might push us out of our window of tolerance into dysregulation. Scientists have learned that we have one of two biological reactions:
- Hyperarousal where we go into the fight/flight reaction as we “fire up.” We experience increased reactivity and emotions like anger, anxiety, overwhelm and feeling out of control.
- Hypoarousal where we go into the freeze/fawn reaction as we shut down. We exhibit decreased responsiveness and withdraw as we have emotions like being numb, exhausted, depressed and disconnected.
We tend to have a pattern of which state we go to first. For example, mine is hyperarousal but if I’m in really bad shape, I go to hypoarousal. What is your pattern?
Self-regulation starts with recognizing you’re in one of these arousal states and taking action to shift your body back into the window of tolerance.
When we’re in hyperarousal, we need to cool down the system, or down regulate, by doing things that are calming and grounding.
Some actions you can do at work include:
- Deep breathing
- Writing things down
- Shaking or stomping
- Rhythmic movement like rocking or swinging
- Listen to soothing music
- Eat comforting food
- Spending time in nature
At home, we can add options like taking a warm or very cold shower, and using compression like a weighted blanket or being held by someone we trust.
And when we’re in hypoarousal, we need to heat the system, or up regulate, by doing things that are energizing.
At work, some actions you can take include:
- Sensory stimulation with tastes, smells or sounds
- Listening to music with a faster beat
- Energizing movement like walking or dancing
- Increasing focus/concentration with tasks, games or puzzles
At home, we can also use cold water immersion, doing tactile/hands-on crafts or projects, and connecting with others with whom we feel safe. Most of us have the tools to regulate ourselves at home but may struggle at the office. This is why people continue to highly value work-from-home options.
Teaching emotional regulation is a core component of emotional intelligence and doing so pays off in numerous ways.
The ROI of EQ
Investing in emotional intelligence training benefits our people and organizations. Harvard found that companies that prioritize EQ are 22 times more likely to outperform those that do not.
According to the Global Report on Emotional Intelligence, there is a strong business case for investing in emotional intelligence including increased collaboration, enhanced trust, better communication, and increased employee engagement and retention.
Researchers at McKinsey predict that the demand for EQ skills will grow 6X by 2030. And the World Economic Forum asserts that as technology (like AI) proliferates, technical skills will need to be supplemented by strong social and collaboration skills, such as emotional intelligence.
It’s clear that EQ skills, and particularly emotional regulation, are the key to future-proofing your workforce and organization. I encourage you to explore these skills for yourself and with your team. When we’re in good shape, we can better help those we serve. Make 2026 the year you uplevel your entire organization’s EQ and watch the benefits blossom.
As you reflect on your own learning journey, explore how the Certified Professional in Training Management (CPTM) program can help you grow the skills you need to lead training with confidence.
